Birdworld and Roast Dinners

Birdworld and Roast Dinners

13th March 2019 0 By Allergendad

Apologies for the delay in blog posts. Life in its usual time-consuming habit seems to have just got in the way. It’s funny, some weeks seem really productive while others seem to be just firefighting to get from one day to the next. I’m not complaining at anything other than my own lack of efficiency.

We had a fairly busy weekend, certainly more busy than most in 2019 so far. On Friday, I was at work but Piglet got to see his auntie (for a lunchtime break between performances of her multiple Olivier-nominated London West-End play, just saying…). He LOVES his auntie and was still giddy about seeing her when I got home. Lunch at Wagamama’s probably helped too…

Saturday was a last-minute planned day out. We’d learnt from the previous weekend that even when there’s lots of fun stuff to do at home, (building train tracks, painting, playing musical instruments, ‘gardening’, etc…) we all start to get a bit stir crazy if we don’t get out of the house, even despite the miserable weather. So this weekend arrives with a renewed intent to get out and go somewhere. Anywhere.

Birdworld in Surrey was the lucky benefactor of our custom, a large bird park just next to Alice Holt. It is exactly as you might expect: a 26 acre park hosting birds (and other animals) of many varieties. It’s the kind of place that could have been very busy on a Saturday but a combination of ‘meh’ weather and early in the year off-season timing meant the park was popular but nowhere near crowded.

Starting nice and easy: the duck

We took our proper DSLR camera and also the old ‘point and shoot’ portable digital camera that has basically become redundant as a result of the extraordinary improvement of mobile phone cameras. Consequently, the little camera is of little value and with us not letting Piglet play with phones/tablets (yet) it serves as a perfect distraction for him to learn to take photographs while we use a (much more easily damaged) fancy camera or smartphone. He seemed to love the responsibility of having his own, even if it was dropped on the floor a few times. He’s actually getting to the point where he can just about get an object within the view finder and press the shutter. His cognitive understanding of ISO settings, aperture and shutter speed are still a little way away.

Yes, this turned out the be a photo of the wall, below any of the impressive birds.

It’s hard to describe Birdworld in a way that does it any justice other than repeating ‘ooh, brightly coloured bird’ over and over. We took a few photos (some higher quality than others) so you’ll just have to appreciate these rather than being given the intellectual space to render your own mental picture of each species separately. That said, the flamingos and vibrantly coloured parrots deserve a special mention.

The far end of the park is actually a children’s petting zoo called Jenny Wren Farm. Here Piglet was able to stroke some very cute rabbits, hold a tiny mouse and sit on a log with guinea pigs, rabbits and chickens running around his legs. Although, far more importantly than that, there was also a very newly built wooden climbing frame/playground that took his fancy. Although he did seem bizarrely terrified at climbing through the middle of a wooden barrel (of his own accord, it’s not like we made him do it). Before he got in it he desperately wanted assurances that it wouldn’t spin*.

*Mental note just to make sure no one is torturing Piglet that we don’t know about!

Freedom…!! Even if it does look like something I might have custom crafted in the horror survival computer game I’ve been playing lately!

Anyway, before we got to much of this it was time, as is often the case around the middle of the day, for lunch. Birdworld has a few service kiosks dotted around the site and a cafe/restaurant at the entrance; but it was the garden centre and it’s restaurant with it’s linked access point to the bird park that caught our eye. The garden centre (Forest Lodge) is huge and looked well deserving of a more extensive visit if it wasn’t for the toddler pining for either lunch or to get back to the birds.

The restaurant offers a range of pre-packaged sandwiches and cakes as well as two freshly prepared counters serving either light lunches or full blown meals. The only allergy information at first glance was a sign prompting you to ask when ordering. There were quite a few options, some looking more likely to be suitable than others. We followed our hearts (or should I say stomachs) and decided to chance whether the delicious looking carvery might have anything suitable. I wasn’t overly hopeful but thought there might be some things that were OK to eat.

The gentleman who first asked our order seemed happy to check what our options were (I know that seems like a silly thing to say but sometimes I’m used to experiencing service where people can barely conceal their frustration at being asked. There’s even one person where I work who I think tries to avoid serving me now as she knows I’ll ask – so I’ve gone on the charm offensive to try and learn her name, build up some rapport and, hopefully, get her onside). The roast dinner, it turns out was almost completely dairy and soya-free! The only thing we couldn’t have were the stuffing balls. He was quite clear to check that none of the vegetables were prepared in butter and didn’t mind me double checking that the gravy didn’t contain soya (it often does). The only fault, if I’m being critical and looking for one, is that all the allergy checks seemed to be done on knowledge and asking rather than referring to any paperwork; but I was convinced that they knew what they were talking about.

So we found our way to the orangery (it wasn’t called that – it was just a predominantly glass walled annex at the back of the restaurant) and settled down with two roast dinners, a spare plate and multiple glasses/cups of water. The food was delicious! Roast turkey on one, roast pork with crispy crackling on the other, roast potatoes, parsnips, carrots, peas and gravy. We couldn’t keep Piglet’s plate topped up fast enough.

Three happy roast dinner customers

After lunch we made our way back into Birdworld and saw the bulk of the remaining features including some fairly spectacular flamingos. Piglet got quite upset that he wasn’t allowed to have a go in any of the other children’s car-style-pushchairs. We hadn’t thought to hire one and his dismay increased with each one that he passed. We did partially make up for it though by just catching the last safari ‘train’ of the day without knowing where it was or what times it ran. It made a nice break to see some of the animals while sitting down but it mostly consisted of us calypso dancing in a carriage with two benches that was pulled by an electric fork-lift truck. What can I say, Piglet loved it.

By late afternoon I was starting to flag and Piglet was wanting to be carried more and more (he’d done a decent job of walking round the full distance of the park for much of the day). We made it back to the cafe at the entrance for two herbal teas (I’m off caffeine and there were no milk substitutes anyway). Two teas and the pleasant surprise of a suitable flapjack and Eccles cake later; we realised it was probably to head home for the evening rather than venture back into the park for much more.


Sunday morning was the first of Piglet’s peer groups’ 3rd birthday parties and he was very excited to be going back to Little Gym in Windsor. He used to go when he was littler but the lessons for his age-group seemed at odds with any natural sleep patterns. He was always deliriously tired and it seemed too expensive considering it was difficult to keep him awake. Anyway, he was glad to be going back and excited to be seeing some of his friends.

He had a whale of a time traversing high-bars, climbing gentle incline rock-walls, jumping through hoops and just generally manically chasing/being chased through soft padded apparatus. A clear highlight for him was being able to jump backwards with me along the custom bouncy walkway. An event destined to prove that self-preservation and inhibition come with age in a way that 3-year-olds are yet to experience.

The party was great but I have to admit I find them a bit out of my comfort zone. I really like getting to see the other mums and dads from our NCT group and I wish I got to see them more. I’m quite jealous of the network that my wife has managed to build (primarily with the mums), although I do understand why the network for the dads was never set up to do quite the same thing. Some of the dad’s in our group did take partial or shared parental leave, but in general it was the mum’s braving those first few weeks alone and the NCT community was invaluable (and bonding) for that.

I don’t feel like I’m naturally equipped with the social skills to excel at a 3-year-old’s party. I guess what grown adult is?! But I find the split between keeping hawk-like eye on my son and making small-talk with other sleep deprived parents a complete conflict at the highest of levels. I find myself zoning out of conversations halfway through as Piglet runs off in the search for ever increasing perilous dangers; to the extent that when it comes round to my turn to say something, my mind is just hyperventilating my son’s name without context, reason or wit. Similarly the kind of light-hearted observational jokes that I’d like to make to break any ice or stimulate conversation seem painfully inappropriate for kids parties, either because the content is just irrelevant or because my brain defaults to levels of humour ill suited to a target audience of age three. My wife calls it my ‘Alan Partridge’, making a joke that is funny to an adult because of the obvious hidden sarcasm or self-aware self-deprecating tactlessness. But to a 3-year-old without any context of progressive sarcasm, the tactlessness is just, well…, tactless! I fear that this does not paint me in a great light as a human being generally. Once again exposed as a child’s mind in the body of an adult.

I also find the party food aspect of parties stressful. In truth, it’s more because of my own complexes from the experiences of childhood than a genuine reaction to the risks that Piglet faces. At this party, as at many others, there was consideration of his allergies and something available to him. He’s also very understanding that there are some foods he just can’t eat – so as long as he’s got something, he’s genuinely just happy to be part of the occasion. But my heart skips a beat every time the plate of cheese sandwiches ends up within his reach or he asks to have a packet of crisps that it turns out he can’t eat. He rarely seems to care (he understands, loosely now, that he is ‘allergic’ to some things and there is just stuff he can’t eat).

I don’t have the cognitive awareness of my early years to truly make a comparison, but I think experiences like being at nursery and going to far more kids social things than I did (even just eating in restaurants) will put him much more at ease than I ever was in those situations. I grew up with a distinct anticipation of any ‘organised fun’ event, no matter how much I wanted to be a part of it. Piglet is already a much more socially savvy child than I think I ever was.

On putting him to bed on Sunday night, it was clear that Piglet had had a great weekend. We talked through the sequence of events and he beamed with delight at the memories of Birdworld, the party, and the rest of our Sunday afternoon at home. Our concerted effort to make sure we got out of the house had definitely paid off. Now to start thinking about his birthday in just over a month!